Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
