a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
