i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
