You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If I die, sorry about rent.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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