I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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