Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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