just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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