i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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