Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
