How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
