the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize