I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
