A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We left the knife in your bed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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