Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex