It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
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Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts