Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY