she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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