At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.