If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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