honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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