You don't have asthma, your pregnant
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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