don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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