whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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