Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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