My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
