How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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