I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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