so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
