I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
