Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
