We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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