Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
