so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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