No stitches, just platelets and will power
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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