hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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