She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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