I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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