There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize