he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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