you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
