Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
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He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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