O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
