what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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