Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This baby is an asshole
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
