I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
