He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
