Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
