I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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