Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
