I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
