I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
