I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you guys were way drunker than both of me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
