There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
