never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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