On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
