Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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