We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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