...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
