My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
