this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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