I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
